In my earlier years, I would have never considered myself a romantic. Or at least if I was, I would never have admitted it to myself. I accepted such poor and disrespectful treatment in my romantic relationships, that I never expected to be wooed. If I was pursued by a healthy guy, it made me so uncomfortable that I often sabotaged any hope of a relationship. I thrived best in chaos because that’s all I had ever known of love and life.
Flash forward to my early walk with Jesus: With Him I found the One who invented the woo. He was my first experience with loving kindness and unconditional love. No matter how many times I had pushed Him away, He maintained the pursuit. This stone is but one example of His relentless pursuit of a truly broken and unhealthy woman.
At the time I lived in the first house that I ever tried to plant flowers. During that season, the most notable healing that has ever taken place in my emotional and spiritual life happened while playing in the dirt there. Up until then flowers had never been a big deal to me, but because I was an enthusiastic new gardener, I often took note of flowers in other people’s beds so that I could copy them in my own.
One night on the way to church, we passed a house that had a mass planting of purple irises in full bloom. I sighed and wished I had purple irises. On the way home from church, we stopped to drop my nephew off at home. My brother told me he had dug up some cannas from a job he was working on that day. He had black garbage bags filled with them. Guess what was mixed in there with them – yep, purple irises! There were so many that I was able to plant a cluster in the front and back yards.
I knew Jesus had given me those flowers, the exact ones I had wished for. I will never, ever forget that moment in my walk with Him. I hadn’t’ asked for them, but He knew that they were the desire of my heart, and more importantly, He knew what the unexpected gift of them would do in breaking down my remaining defenses. Since then, I’ve had no doubt of His love for me and His willingness to show me that love in the sweetest ways. That was a relationship changer.
Technically, I don’t need a stone to remember this one. Every spring serves as a reminder when I see purple irises. Since I don’t live in that house anymore, I have to enjoy them in other yards, but always I carry the memory of them in my heart.
You may remember from a past blog that I’m convinced that I’m God’s favorite. I hope you also remember that I’m convinced that you are too. These crazy, stone worthy things don’t just happen to me. Jesus is wooing you too. What He gives to you will look different since your needs differ from mine, but He’s pursuing you. I hope my little stone will remind you to watch for the ways in which He woos and pursues you. Live with spiritually open eyes and watch for His gestures of love.
It’s easy to allow life to get in the way of God. We all do it. People and things vie for our time and attention when always there’s the God who loves you enough to die for you waiting with flowers in hand to romance you into the truest of love relationships. Watch for Him. Wait for Him. Remember that He created the woo.
Many blessings to you, my friends.
In His love,
Who doesn’t want to be the favorite? We all have the desire to be special to someone, to know we are at the top of the list. Those who have lived a life feeling less than special can relate to this.
During a particular season, the idea of being favored was monumental to me. I’m not sure where that need came from on my end. I just know that God took every opportunity to show me that I was His favorite. Don’t get me wrong; I’m not saying that God loves me any more than you. I’m just saying He went to great lengths so that I would know that I was favored.
So you don’t think I’ve lost my mind, I’ll tell you where the concept came from. An element of God’s grace is favor. His favor is undue, but still, He offers it. At the time I was going through some difficulties and needed to know that someone was on my side. I needed to see proof of God’s love for me. I can’t tell you the innumerable ways He showed up. I wish I had those journal entries from back then so that I could share more of the specifics. One story I can remember is this:
I was in the vice-principal’s office with my son Adam – again. Ugh and eye roll. The guy said to Adam. “I’m going to give you another chance – not because of you but because of your mom. She’s fighting hard for you and stays involved…” He went on to say some kind things. If Adam had been suspended from school, I would have had to take him and pick him up at an alternative school every day. The drive would have been at least two hours out of my day for the remainder of the school year. We dodged that bullet with the second chance.
When I left the school, and after yelling at Adam all the home (I’m sure), God showed me that it was His favor over me that stayed the VP’s hand. It was just another in a long line of ways He was showing me His favor. I believe He is always making an effort for us to know we are His favored children. What was different was that I was watching and taking note when I saw those moments. The craziest things would happen, and I would look at my husband or kids and say, “See, I’m God’s favorite.” A friend even bought me a pillow that says, “Jesus may love you, but I’m His favorite.” It still sits on a stool in my kitchen.
I’ll say it again; I’m not sure why I needed to know that at the time. I wish I could remember more clearly what was happening in my spiritual journey. I suppose it doesn’t matter why I needed it. What matters is that God knew it was what I needed, and He poured it out in jaw-dropping ways.
The way I look at it is similar to what we feel for our children or nieces and nephews. We favor each of them differently. Because they are all different, we can appreciate their unique qualities and favor each child equally. I feel that way about my two boys. Adam is my oldest. He was my first everything as a mom. Bless his heart; it’s a wonder he survived me. It was just the two of us for his first four years. Nothing can break the bond we have or diminish what I feel for him.
I remember being pregnant with Zack and fearing I couldn’t possibly love him as much as Adam. Then Zack came, and my heart expanded to allow for more love. Zack is my baby. That’s a different relationship. With Zack, I made sure I didn’t wish it all away. With Adam, I couldn’t wait for his first steps and words and various life experiences. My time with Zack was peaceful, and I was able to enjoy every moment more.
See what I mean? They are both my favorites. If you ask either of them who my real favorite is, they would both say Zoe – my puppy-girl. And they would be right. 😉
This memory just came to mind. I used to sneak and tell both of my boys that they were my favorite. I did the same with my nephews. I remember the looks on their faces when they heard that. It meant something to be the favored one.
An even sweeter memory was at a 5th/6th-grade retreat that I attended as a helper. There was a kid that I didn’t know well. He didn’t attend our church regularly. For some reason I whispered to him that he was my favorite. From that moment on, that boy migrated toward me every time he saw me. He needed to be someone’s favorite. For the remainder of the camp, I didn’t call him by name, I just called him Favorite. I wonder if he remembers that all these years later?
In this blog I have used a whole lot of words to make this point: Watch for God’s favor in and on your life. Watch for the little and big things. Take mental note and heart note of them. Those moments serve to expand your belief that you are special to Him and favored by Him. Since you live in a world that goes to great lengths to make you doubt God’s love, you need His reassurance, and He’s right there willing to reassure.
Point 2: Tell someone they are favored. Show someone they are favored. We have something baked into our DNA that longs to be the favorite.
I love you in the Lord,
I want to begin this post by saying this is my favorite stone, but then I tend to think they are all my favorite in one way or another. This one is set apart as special because it was the beginning of what is now my love relationship with Jesus. He calls me Beloved.
It started with the novel, Redeeming Love. The book had been recommended to me by several friends, but at the time, I wasn’t reading fiction. I had a trip scheduled to Dallas and needed something for the flight, so this book came to mind and that so many people had highly recommended it.
Note: I’m sitting here shaking my head, still marveling
over its impact on my life.
Funny thing, I can hardly remember the story. That wasn’t what had such great impact. I do remember the beginning was a tough read, so I skimmed some early parts. Anything bad that happens to a kid – that’s a no for me. It wasn’t the Western days version of the Book of Hosea that got to me either, even though that’s one of my favorite books of the Bible.
It was one simple word: Beloved. That is what the guy called the girl in the novel. I’m not sure if it was often that he did, I just know he did at least once.
After my return from Dallas, I finished the book at home. It was nighttime, and I was sitting with my guys while they watched TV. I finished the book and closed it, and all I could hear echoing in my heart was the word, Beloved. Over and over it rang. I looked around the room almost expecting to find some external source for what I was hearing.
That was only the beginning. Over the next days, weeks, and even months, the word Beloved followed me everywhere. For one I was still hearing it echo in my heart almost nonstop. Sermons, devotions, and my Bible reading were all filled with the topic and word.
I can’t remember this many years later when I had my moment of clarity, when I actually understood that Jesus was calling me His loved one. When it did register with me, it rocked my world. That’s not a pun for the Stories Series. My world was literally rocked and transformed by Love.
Transparency alert: Like most women, I had lived my entire life in pursuit of love. Most often, I was looking for love in all the wrong places. (Hey, I should write a song…) Women are notoriously hungry for love. Nice girls get their love cup semi-filled with parents, husbands, their kids, and friendship. But broken girls like me chase after love in massively self-destructive ways and live lives they look back on with deep regret. I have much to regret.
Anyhoo, enough of that.
Let’s go back to a compound word I used above: semi-filled. No matter where you’re trying to get your love cup filled, if it’s not Jesus you’re in pursuit of, then your cup is never full – never – ever. I’ve looked under every rock, from sources like my husband, kids, etc. No one or thing can fill me. As a matter of fact, the more I pursue anything or anyone but Jesus, the more empty I become.
Conversely, the more I pursue the love Jesus offers, the more I am filled to overflowing. That love becomes something I can pour out in a healthy way to fill others rather than hoping they can fill me.
Here’s the point: I needed love. Every second of every day of my tumultuous life, I had needed love. All of the sudden, Jesus was calling me Beloved. He didn’t just tell me once that I was loved. He kept telling me. Not only did He tell me, He kept showing me in the craziest ways. Those are some of the Stones I will be sharing in the upcoming series.
I look back now on the Christian I was trying to be pre-Beloved. I looked pretty pulled together on the outside, but I was more of a faker than anything. The love of Jesus transformed me and the way I saw myself. It began to allow me to trust Him. How can you not trust Someone who loves you even when you’re at your most unloveable?
I could make this a novel, this topic of love. I can’t in this setting. But I will challenge you, if you don’t feel saturated and steeped in His love, then you’re missing the main thing. You have a relationship to work on. Work and serve at your church all you want, but until you get the love thing right, you will only spin your wheels and pursue love in unhealthy ways. You need to know and feel and believe You. Are. Loved!
If you come to visit, what will you see all over my house?
I have it on pillows, over my bed, in my office as you see above. This is my jam, this love thing. Because the enemy constantly tries to undermine my belief in that love, I protect myself with a barrage of reminders.
So, there you have it, my favorite stone – Beloved.
I love you in the Lord,
For those of you who have heard my Stone Stories, this is a new one, something that happened recently.
One morning in the late summer, I was just about to walk away from my quiet time with God the Father. I specify since I most often differentiate with Whom I’m speaking. That morning, I needed the Father’s heart. Now, as I write this a few weeks later, I honestly don’t remember what was so pressing, just that this girl needed her Dad.
As I stood to walk away, I heard Him speak as clearly as I’ve ever heard Him. He said, “You are loved.” The words were choppy and specific, more like, You. Are. Loved. I paused mid-stand and then plopped back down. With a grin tugging at my lips and closed eyes, I said, “You are loved.” Nothing more happened.
I tried to stand but then stopped again to sit. I had to ask myself this question: What will my day look like if I live it loved? A few things came to mind, like how I would live out my day with purpose and intentionality. I was working on this massive revision project and needed focus. I reminded myself that God would be with me. It was, after all, His Kingdom work I was accomplishing. I knew I could live out my day trusting that He would provide what I needed.
That’s about all I came up with and moved on about my day. Throughout the day His words came to mind many times: You are loved. Each time it made me smile and a warm feeling would wash over me. Different than my many decades before, I now know that I’m loved by God the Father and Jesus the Son, my Beloved. Living loved is not new to me anymore. It’s not something I take for granted by any means, but after about a decade of living loved, I know what love feels like and still revel in it. It’s what I had chased all my life. Love to me is the biggest deal.
Later that night as I was settling in with my husband to watch TV, I was scanning through something on my phone while we waited for our show to begin. I heard music on the TV that caught my attention, so I glanced up. There were no words but the tune was familiar. I thought it may be a Christian song. When I saw that it was just some commercial, I looked back at my phone, figuring the song was familiar because I had seen the commercial before.
For some reason I glanced back up at just the right moment when the song said, you are loved. That was it. ADT appeared on the screen. It was a home security commercial that was using the Christian song by Stars Go Dim. The tune was familiar to me because I adore that song. I had even used it at a couple of conferences I had spoken at – of all things, the Jesus Loves Me Conference.
I was so blown away that I just sat staring at the TV. Then I tried to tell my husband, Kelly, about it, about what an impact it made. Father God had spoken those exact three words to me that morning in a way that stopped me in my tracks. He even made a commercial about it to drive the point home. That’s serious planning on His part.
When things like that happen and He begins to weave together chords of revelation through repetition, then I know He’s up to something. The next morning, I began to gather a few notes of what I might be able to do with this and saved them. I’m still not sure, but I may write a book. Since I was working on that time-consuming revision project and knew I wouldn’t have time to devote real attention to it, I decided to hold off a few weeks until vacation. I figured if God planned on me writing a book, then the fire would fall when the time came.
Hold the phone! This gets even cooler.
I’m not sure that you could call the kick-off of our vacation fire falling unless it was the fires of misfortune. Okay, I’m being dramatic, but in the early hours of that first morning, I was close to tears. I didn’t sleep after 3:30 a.m. There must have been cats in the condo we rented since our allergies were giving us fits. We had selected a bottom unit, thinking that our little pup would enjoy the patio. I didn’t consider that I always have my quiet time on the balcony when on vacation. The patio had dozens of people passing by all day long, there was barely any ocean view since it wasn’t elevated, and I couldn’t exactly sit out there in my jammie’s.
Second choice for my quiet time was on a comfy chair in the living room – until my hubby turned on a car repair show. He had offered to leave the TV off, but I knew he was already having a miserable time too. I didn’t want to take away his beloved TV, so I said in a high-pitched tone, “Oh no, it’s not a big deal.” But then the racket and babbling of guys fixing up an old something or another commenced. No kidding, I felt tears sting my eyes. I was having a huge internal pity party.
While looking down and trying my best to focus on what I was reading, a commercial came on – music sounded. I knew the tune. I knew the commercial even though I had only seen it once. It ended with: You are loved. Once again – amazing! Why so amazing? Because I was supposed to begin looking through my notes and possibly beginning a book that day on that very topic. Another reason it was so amazing to me was that I hadn’t heard that commercial even once since that first time. There I was in the middle of my very own pity party when my Father God reminded me that I was loved.
I’m still not sure where all of this is going. I was recently asked to speak at a women’s conference and this topic came to mind. Maybe it’s conference material. Maybe it’s a book. Maybe it’s both. Whatever it is, God has a plan that He will reveal at the right time. That’s part of living loved: I can trust Him to guide me through this confusing world, one where many voices attempt to direct my way. He will be that still small voice that calls me in the right direction.
So, there you have it, my newest stone. I will leave you with this stone as a reminder:
Think today about how this truth should
impact the way you live your life.
Grace and peace,
In case you’re interested, here is the commercial:
ADT – You Are Loved video
I have a basket of stones that I keep around to remember. Some of the most remarkable encounters I have had with God over the past years are represented by a stone with something painted on it. I got this idea from the Book of Joshua where, after the Israelites crossed over the Jordan River on dry ground, the LORD told Joshua to have the 12 Tribes set up stones as a memorial.
4“So Joshua called together the twelve men he had appointed from the Israelites, one from each tribe, 5 and said to them, “Go over before the ark of the Lord your God into the middle of the Jordan. Each of you is to take up a stone on his shoulder, according to the number of the tribes of the Israelites, 6 to serve as a sign among you. In the future, when your children ask you, ‘What do these stones mean?’ 7 tell them that the flow of the Jordan was cut off before the ark of the covenant of the Lord. When it crossed the Jordan, the waters of the Jordan were cut off. These stones are to be a memorial to the people of Israel forever.”
Why do I need a memorial? Because I’m just as forgetful as the Israelites. Don’t we often wonder how they could forget from one minute to the next all that God had done for them? Seriously, the plagues, the exodus, crossing the Red Sea, manna from heaven? It’s easy for us to read the account and wonder how they could forget such big events or the fact that God had promised to take care of them and proved it over and over.
I have seen God work on my behalf in small and huge ways. I have witnessed His hand in my life in ways that I absolutely know it’s Him. But still, when the going gets tough, the forgetful forget. Then I find myself wondering if He will come through on the next thing. I like to take time out on occasion and view my own Stones of Remembrance. Maybe this is an idea you can adopt in your own creative way by making a collage of photos or painting stones or scrap booking your memories. No matter how you set out to remember, just make sure you remember.
I’m in a yucky season right now, wondering if God will come through in some ways. Of course He will come through. It just may not look the way I want it. When my mind (and shaky faith) are in this forgetful place, I pull out my stones. I figured I would share them with you in the upcoming weeks. If I blog about them, that will keep them fresh on my mind and make sturdy my faith for this current season.
Many of you have heard my Stone stories at conferences, so I will begin next time with a new one. After that, you may get bored with a repeat, or maybe a fresh view of it will spark something you notice in your own life. To me, the little things can make just as big of an impact as the larger, jaw dropping miracles. Aren’t those the ones we often miss, however, the little things He does for us day in and day out. You have to keep an eye out.
Hope you enjoy the upcoming series.
Blessings to you,
Every time I read the words above from A Thousand Blessings, I am reminded of my own times of hearing the call to sacrifice and my refusal to obey. During one particular season of running, I took the worst fall of my life. Now, I can honestly say that when I hear, I obey. I would be a liar if I said that I always obey right away. Plenty of times I hear what God is calling me to do or not to do, and I drag my feet in obeying. The difference now, though, is that I do obey.
That ugly season that I’m reminded of left scars, so when I’m tempted to ignore God, I can look at them and remember what the fresh wound felt like. I don’t want that ever again. Even when I’m a slow listener, I do listen.
What I didn’t know then that I know now is this: Jesus can be trusted. Even when He calls me to give up what I am struggling to hold onto, I know there is a reason behind Him asking. For my good, for the good of someone else, for someone else’s growth, for the Kingdom good, there is something that I’m not seeing. But He sees.
You may assume that I create crazy scenarios and build a story around it. Well, sometimes that is true. Often, though, even when I have no intention of pouring myself into a character, it just happens. God has that planned long before I dream up a story. As I got deeper into Isabel’s story, I found I was writing out of personal experience in some ways. I spent many years feeling unloved in my marriage. Because of that, I tried to fill my empty places with everything but Jesus.
I came to a point where I had to decide that the love Jesus gives was enough – no matter what was going on in my marriage.
After giving up and giving in, Jesus has restored a marriage that I once believed was lost. I am loved by my husband. I never doubt that now. I never would have believed it possible, but after my obedience, after choosing to live in marriage that I didn’t believe in any longer, a new, deeper level of love surfaced for us both. God honored my obedience with a love I’ve never experienced before.
All that to say, love is complicated. Marital love is just flat out painful at times. As many times as I cried out, “God, get me out of this marriage.” The Spirit interceded by saying, “Father, save this marriage.”
If you are in a season of discontent in your marriage, or if you wonder if it’s even worth it, I urge you to hold on. I urge you to take all the needs you feel are not being met by your husband to Jesus. Not only will He meet them, He will sustain you and help carry you through rocky times in your marriage. I pray for you what the Spirit prayed over me: “Father, save this marriage.”
Look to Him. Pray to draw nearer to Him, especially in the toughest times of your daily struggles. He is close. All you need to do is reach out.
May the Lord bless you and your family,
This release has been a long time in coming since the book was written in the spring of 2016. With the current revisions complete, the stage is set for a short series.
Keep an eye out for A Deslan Tale and Promise Keeper. A Deslan Tale will be available in 2018 – Lord willing. 🙂
We will provide the link for presales later in the week.
Travel with Isabel as she journeys to an unknown land to marry Colin, a widowed king. Elias, the king’s trusted commander, accompanies Isabel to her new home. While faced with peril along the way, the greater danger is the fondness that develops between the two. Isabel must choose between her heart and duty, while Elias decides if he will fight for the woman he loves or honor his king and kingdom.
This fantasy kingdom setting differs from Lisa’s usual contemporary novels. No matter the time period, Lisa explores the complexities of relationships when we try to live with Jesus on the outskirts of our lives.
Other books by Lisa: Unmending the Veil, On 4/19, Beyond 4/20, and Deceiver – all available on Amazon.
Please note: If you purchased the PDF and would like the .mobi file to read on your Kindle for no additional charge, please let us know at firstname.lastname@example.org.
There are few books I can read more than once, but in this case, I hope you will give Unmending the Veil another read. There are new scenes included throughout the story. Also, due to the changes I’ve made, new ideas have begun to flow. I see a sequel in the future ~ Lord willing.
Also, I hope you will tell a friend about Unmending the Veil.
If you’re wondering how this all came about, continue on with my blog below.
These days, I’m trying to catch my breath from this past year, from this rocky, educational, soul crushing journey I’ve been on. Every step of the way, I was looking toward a destination that just won’t arrive. More and more, as time went by, I felt like a failure and genuinely considered giving up. Don’t worry, I’m not. I plan to give up at least once a year. I won’t. I can’t. There’s this line that I learned from Max Lucado. “If I don’t the fire will consume me.” It’s what he said in response when an older pastor asked why he wanted to step into pastoral ministry. Same with me – if I don’t write, the fire will consume me. I can’t quit. Believe me, I’ve tried.
Recently, God has been doing a peace-giving work in me. He has shown me that all along it’s been about the journey, about what He has wanted to accomplish in me. He’s been tinkering around inside of me in ways that I wasn’t even aware. Now, all the sudden I find new things about me that surprise even me. God has developed perseverance (endurance) in me for one.
“Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.” James 1:2-4
I’ve faced trials this past year for certain. In learning to take my writing to the next level, I discovered techniques that I didn’t even know I was supposed to be using. An example is to show not tell. In my books, I spend a lot of time in my characters heads, telling what’s going on through their thought life. I was supposed to be showing through scenes and the character’s interaction with others. Funny things is, I’m so relational, I love writing scenes more than narrative summary. I dunno. I guess I thought I was supposed to explain more. This new technique is what has led to new scenes in UtV.
Now, of course, that has led me to fret over all of my earlier books. I can’t stand the thought of knowing they are out there, not done right. Most readers don’t even notice what’s wrong, but I know now. It won’t let me rest. When faced with the idea of revising 600,000+ words worth of books – no kidding – I died a little inside.
For a while I was like, “No way, I can’t do that. I quit!” But this new me, the one who is ready to persevere (endure) is ready to dive in. I have two revisions behind me so far with three to go. So in the upcoming months, when you see revised editions popping out here and there, you’ll know why. I knew they weren’t my best work, and for me to do this thing right, I have to go back and do the work.
Now you: (I never want to leave you out.)
Our lesson in this is two-fold:
First, are you constantly looking toward some end goal, or are you focusing on what God wants to do in and through you along this journey?
Are you a woman climbing a ladder at work that never seems to bring you to your desired success? As a mom, are you frustrated with little kids and ready for them to be a little more independent? Are you trying to get pregnant, thinking that a baby is the end goal? Or looking for a spouse? We are all on a journey of some kind. And God has the same plan for each of us during the journey: to teach us, to grow us, to mold us, to show Himself faithful to us along the way, to make us more like Him so that we reflect who He is to others. (and more) Are you letting him?
My advice to you is this: Begin to have this conversation with God during your quiet time. Ask Him to help you see the importance of the journey rather than focusing on your end goal. Truth is, we may never make that destination that we think will make us happy. You may not. I may not. It simply may not be how our life works out. Still, He’s faithful and will make something good of the journey if you’ll let him.
A second thought for today: Are you thinking of quitting? Is your faith in some area tested beyond what you think you can handle? Hold on a little while longer. Talk to Him. Ask for direction. He has promised to give wisdom when we ask. Believe He will answer that prayer.
Many years ago I prayed this: Help me quit quitting!
As an early writer, I was shredded by every little piece of rejection or criticism. So I would quit for a year or more at a time. This prayer, that I quit quitting has been answered. All these years along the journey, He’s been toughening my skin to rejection and tendering my heart toward His direction. The outcome has been that I’ve quit quitting. You do the same. Don’t give up, believer, in the good Shepherd who is leading you down the path you need to go. Persevere. Endure.
I love you dearly and am thankful for the ways in which you constantly encourage me with your replies and messages.
Blessings on you and yours today,
As you can tell from the pic, my daylilies have seen better days. When they begin to bloom early in the season, I’m always happy to see the bright pop of yellow. By July, however, they have more brown leaves and dead shoots than I can keep up with plucking. All in all, they are just blah. Sure, there is some good left, a few blooms here and there, but by this time of year, the blooms seem to grow so near to the ground that they are hardly visible.
Last year my friend told me that her grandmother always cuts her daylilies back with good results. So this year, I’ve decided to try it. It’s been about two weeks now since I cut them back and so far so good. We’ve had some rain, so the new leaves are growing fast. (right) I just hope for new blooms at some point.
There’s a point to all of this besides daylily care. When I garden, God often shows me much about life. Some of my greatest revelations have come through gardening. This time, He was leading me to take stock of my new season, and to comfortably release what was once my main purpose. As a mother of now grown children, I’m in unchartered territory. It’s easier to know what to do and how to help younger children. Keep them relatively clean, feed them, help them with school work. In this new season of their adult lives, I find myself wanting to do more than I should. I want to fix things they need to fix for themselves. I want to help when my help will only likely hinder. They have to grow and learn – even from their mistakes.
As I cut the old leaves away, ones that were once beautiful and colorful, I saw myself. I’m not a young mom now. That causes sadness so real it’s nearly palpable. They aren’t little and gooey and cute any more. I’m no longer the center of their universe, and if I’m healthy, they can’t be mine.
Yes, being a mom of little guys was a wonderful season, but now there’s new work ahead of me, a new season of growth. I have to prune back the old to allow the new to breathe. I have to cut back what was once receiving all my energy in order to allow new leaves and stems and blooms to flourish. I still have much to offer my children, but it needs to be based on a healthy relationship, not one where I’m hanging on because I worry about them, or because it’s comfortable for me to still focus on what I know.
It’s scary to let God have their messes, but since I’ve seen me on even my best day, I know He’s way more capable of directing their future than I am. And it’s not just about them and wanting to “do” for them. You know what I mean if you have children who are getting older. For years they were your identity. You were Mom. Now, with children who need you less, who are you? That’s what the new season is all about, allowing God to show you and me who we are to Him and who He wants to transform us into. There’s no telling what’s there beneath all the browning old leaves. We have to allow Him to cut them away. You and I have a new season to bloom, older mom. Some of God’s best blooms can come out of this season. Don’t underestimate the plans he still has for you. He has better days ahead.
From one mom to another, no matter your season or if you are a spiritual parent rather than a biological one, I’m saying, it’s okay to step into a new season. Allow yourself to grow and blossom wherever you’re planted.
Many blessings and blooms to you,
In every situation we believe someone, either Jesus or His enemy. Those moments when I’m most anxious, I can trace the root back to a lie I’m believing. Peace tells me I’m believing Jesus. Anxiety is brought on by listening to the other guy.
This seems overly simplistic, but technically it is that simple. No matter your situation, you can follow your trail of fear, anxiety, anger, discontentment, or any other negative emotion back to some lie you’re believing. Maybe it’s a fear that a horrific diagnosis will come. In that case you are believing that God won’t come through for you. Or maybe you’re entangled by anger and resentment after a spouse or loved one lets you down. Often when our disappointment is due to the action or inaction of another, we are believing that our happiness rests in them or that God isn’t enough.
If you find yourself at peace, follow that trail. You are most likely taking God at his word in a matter – or maybe many matters. I’ve found that peace is found only in belief, belief that God is ever present and in control of it all: an unexpected diagnosis, the future of a prodigal child, the failing marriage, and money crisis. When we find ourselves believing Jesus, peace prevails even over difficult life circumstance.
I hope you will look at your own areas of belief. Whom are you believing? The presence or lack of peace will be your sure indication.
In my own life, I’m discovering after a season of upheaval, that I wasn’t believing Jesus in a matter. He’s never let me down before, so I’m not exactly sure why I doubted this time. Like we all do, I allowed what I was seeing to heighten my unbelief and distrust. That whole “walk by faith and not by sight” thing was blown out the window. Before I knew it my mind was filled with what ifs and maybes. I’m back on track now and holding onto belief with both hands. Honestly, I still haven’t seen Him come through. I’ve decided, though, if He doesn’t, if I’ve missed what I thought I was hearing, then He still has my best at heart. The outcome will still be for my good. I simply have to believe He is good and loves me and has this all covered.
I guess we all have those moments when we need to take a step back from our overload of emotions and ask ourselves what we are clinging to, the Truth or a lie.
My best to you this wonderful 4th of July. Be safe. Have fun. Run fast once the fuse is lit.