I have done a lot of falling over the years. Spiritually speaking, first I fell away and then I fell back. Best of all my falling, though, was when I eventually fell in love with Jesus. Little did I know, that was what my empty heart had longed for all along.

From an early age we, as little girls, are taught to look for “the one.” I did just that. I looked at this one and that one and another one. Each and every one only left behind another wound and an emptier me. I would almost use the excuse that I didn’t know Jesus was “the One.” Truth is, I’m sure I heard it at some time or another. You have, too. If not, I’m saying it now. He is the One.

Sadly, I didn’t listen or believe that Jesus could actually be the answer to the question my heart was asking. I genuinely thought there had to be some man somewhere who could meet my needs and make me feel complete. I thought that a love story was of human origin. I couldn’t have been any more wrong. Human love can be beautiful, but only as a compliment to the supernatural and divine love of God. Why won’t we believe that until we exhaust every other human love resource and find ourselves broken? I wish I had an answer for that.

Near as I can figure, it boils down to this. We think we need Jesus plus, Jesus plus a man to love us – or friends, or children, or whatever you try to fill your emptiness with. When the simple truth is – you just need Jesus. You need His love alone. All else only compliments but never completes.

I can’t possibly do this kind of love I’ve found with Him justice. I can only call it “in love” as if that compares to what we consider romantic “in love.” I use that term since “in” gives the impression of submersion, of being contained deep within someone else. That’s me now – me in Him and Him in me. I often don’t know where I end and He begins anymore. I could go on about trust and submission and other church’ified words. Instead, I’ll use words that most come to mind when I think of Jesus:
Tender, intimate, protective, leading and guiding, He gathers me to Him, He stoops down, He’s shares me with others and yet is jealous for me to be completely His. These words are but a few of what I feel and genuinely experience with Jesus, but even as I look at this list I come back to the term “in love.” I’m not sure we have a term in our language that could possibly express all the love Jesus evokes in us once we begin to experience it.

Now you: What are words you would use to describe the love you feel with Jesus? Chime in here and share your thoughts with me.

If you don’t have a list of words that gush out of your heart in response to His love for you and yours for Him, then I challenge you to pursue Him and the love He wants to demonstrate toward you. He really is “the One.” Seek Him and He will be found by you.

Falling back (to Jesus) was easy after a season of having fallen away. The utter and complete emptiness I felt while living in such a faraway place was soul crushing. I had this moment, this scales falling from eyes after a season of true deception moment. I knew the only answer was to return. Greatly shamed and certain that He wouldn’t possibly take me back without a severe beating of some sort, I moved back into Jesus. Prepared for whatever discipline I deserved, I said, “Here I am if You want me.”

He wanted me. From that very first moment of falling back to Him, there was a tenderness He used when dealing with me. What I expected to be discipline turned out to be a season of untangling the web of lies that had formed in my mind and heart. There were consequences for my actions, ones we had to work through over the next few years. It wasn’t fast. It wasn’t easy. But the journey through healing was ultimately what helped me to truly see Jesus for the first time in my life.

He accepted me “as is” – no clean up necessary before coming back. In that, I found He wasn’t who I thought He was all along. For many reasons I expected Him to have a heart like mine, one which would remain cold to me until I had paid enough of a price for my failure. Nope – not like me at all. I anticipated Him to constantly remind me of how much I had blown it and how people were hurt as a result of my actions. Nope again. Rather than focusing on the “what” of what I had done, He continually had me focus on the “why.” Why was I lacking so much within me and my relationship with Him that I felt the world might have something better to offer? Those why questions were what we spent countless hours exploring.

For those who have fallen away in any area, great or small, this is the Jesus who awaits your return. He’s not waiting to berate you or remind you of what a failure you are. This tender Jesus who stands with open arms will simply embrace you and help you to pick up the pieces and find restoration. Fall back to that Jesus.

I hope you know this Jesus, the real Jesus, not some man-made image of the people in your life who have let you down or beat you up. If you are in a clean or dirty season, He’s the same Jesus.

Ironically, my greatest “fall,” spiritually speaking, was in the fall. Each year I am reminded of it: cooler temps, pumpkin spice everything, and oh yeah, I blew it! I don’t feel condemned – or convicted even. That’s all forgiven as far as the east is to the west. What it does bring to mind is this: why, why did I fall? Keeping that nearby will help ensure that it doesn’t happen again.

Although my middle name is transparency, that’s not what today’s post is about. This isn’t about my failings specifically, it’s about the set-up for my failure. Trust me when I say: you better know what can and does set you up for a fall. Only in knowing that will you be sure to avoid those landmines.

I fell because I wasn’t on solid ground with Jesus. I was doing church. I was doing religious things. I was a pretty good person. I wasn’t, however, healed of all the crud from my past. Now I’m healed. I wasn’t over the misconception that the world might possibly bring me happiness or fill my empty places. Now I know better. I wasn’t living in the Word. Now I take it in like daily bread. Mostly, I didn’t at all comprehend God’s complete and unfailing love for me. Now I’m saturated in His love – THAT was the game changer.

I would say that I can’t fall now, but I know I can still occasionally “fall for” lies and temptations. I will dare to say this. I don’t think I can ever actually fall away again. I know Jesus too well now. I know He is all that fills me, all that heals me, and all that steals my heart day after day. While tempted by the stuff of this world momentarily, I know that I know only He gives life and love and completion.

Today, you must ask yourself: Am I on solid or shaky ground? Solid allows you to stand. Shaky sets you up for a fall – not the pumpkin spice kind.

Now you: What are you doing to keep yourself secure in Jesus? Do you meet with Him daily? Do you seek Him first in decision making? Do you know that only He fills those empty places? The biggest question in life: Is His love enough for you? I would love to hear from you.